Twilight of the Thunder Blog: Thine Testicular Tuesday Cometh!

Holy balls, Amon Amarth can bring it live. They completely annihilated San Francisco this past Friday and it took me until now to recover. They were joined by The Absence, the hillarious comedy routine of Belphegor (oh wait, they're serious...Wow) and the folk metal dorkiness of Ensiferum (which was actually very cool). They could've had Slayer open for them nd it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. They fucking killed it. The bearded Vikings played 5 tracks off their shiny new opus, Twilight of the Thunder God, and variety of deep cuts and fan favorites such as "Death In Fire", "Fate of Norns" and the epic "Valhall Awaits Me", which could have slayed an army with it's heaviness.

Look, all I'm saying is that Amon Amarth are thunderously (no pun intended) great live. I mean, Johann has a beer tech. A BEER TECH. He fills Johann's horn with beer. Did I mention he caries a horn to drink out of? He's also invented Beard Banging (patent pending, bitches). This is when you headbang one way, but your beard is so long and powerful, that it actually bangs the other way. A real sight to see.

Check this out and please, keep the pillaging to a minimum:

"Death In Fire" from Slim's (this past Friday) in SF:
"Twilight Of The Thunder God" (video):

Testicular Tuesday!

Not that much to say about this week's TT entry, other than how many villages they've pillaged, men without beards they've killed, and how fucking awesome they are. Amon Amarth are serious about their Viking heritage and they have the galloping death thrash to play the perfect soundtrack to the imagery of the lyrics. I mean, you can basically smell these dudes through the music.

They unleash a new beast on us all on the last day of September, Twilight of the Thunder God. It sounds super-cheesy. I'm in.

Till thee havest another trip to the Meade Hall, twirl thy head to this:

Eternal Fucking Awesomeness

The new Cult of Luna is a skullcrusher. An amazing journey of an album, based on the writings in a journal of a mental patient from the 1930's. They actually recorded the new disc, Eternal Kingdom in the abandoned hospital where he once resided and ultimately passed on.

I've talked about the merits of this band endlessly but they have really blown me away with this one. Salvation was unarguably the best album either Isis or Neurosis never made and the follow-up, Somewhere Along The Highway made newer Isis and Mogwai sound like little bitches. What I'm trying to say is that you can't compete with eight Swedes no matter how you slice it. I love me some Isis, but they've clearly been run through.

I'd love to point out some highlights or favorite songs but they all lay motherfuckers to waste in their own unique way, so just buy this thing and find out for yourself. They now have two drummers alongside their three guitarists. It works.

This is an early candidate for Record of the Year. Something is going to have to come along and step out of my stereo and start punching me in the face to top this. New Amon Amarth next month, but I just can't see that even in the same league as this.

Watch this. It would do you no good to not do so. "Eternal Kingdom" Live in Warsaw (2008)
"Owlwood" Live in Warsaw (2008)

Beardtacular Tuesday!

If you love your metal and I mean LOVE it, then you most definitely love Viking Metal, which means you bow down to Amon Amarth. Six records and never a bad song. Never a dull moment. Never a second where you don't feel the urge to set fire to your nearest hut full of maidens and drink at your local Meade Hall. Fuck, when it's time to go, I have my sword, shield and beard ready to rock.

Bottom line, Amon Amarth is fucking awesome. Their last three records can kill people in their sleep. The imagery in their songs (and sometimes sounds of battle) make you feel as if you were just run through by a Viking blade or that you actually smell like a Viking. It's like Smellavision, The Rotten Carcass Edition (by Milton-Bradley, of course).


If you're reading this, it also means you love beards, beard rock, Beardcore...Pretty much anything beard-related (except Williamsburg-poseur beard guys with white v-neck tees and sweatbands and such. Fuck those dudes).

Now, let us head-twirl in unison and beard twirl on the off-strokes!

"The Pursuit of Vikings":