Friday, July 13, 2007

Roadrunner Is Old

Roadrunner Records is old. Yes, they are 26 and can drink and drive (separately of course) and can even rent a car if need be, but age is not what I'm talking about. Roadrunner is turning into CMC Records, or better yet, Sanctuary Records of 1999-2000. They take bands that might have been good at some point, or hell might even be good now, and market them all over again. The problem is that if you want to stay relevant, you need to let the Dinosaurs find their place to die.

For example, after their Capitol deal ended in the late 90's, Megadeth (actually Dave Mustaine and for one record, Dave Ellefson) made the Sanctuary graveyard their home. How about a band like Hatebreed, who have a solid hardcore fan base and sell plenty of records. Roadrunner swept them up from a dying Universal Records contract and instead of playing savior, they played the Grim Reaper. Black Label Society, a Spitfire Records allumni who sold a buttload of records each time out, actually selling more and more with each release...Jumped to Roadrunner after a stint on metal black hole, Artimis Records, then left RR just as fast as they signed, selling only a fraction of what his worst-selling album previously sold.

They now sign shit bands like The Cult (what fucking year is this?!), Biffy Clyro (who the fuck is this?!), Madina Lake (why the fuck would you sign these dildos?!) and even though I dig them, Dream Theater. Why don't DT just release albums on their own?

...And don't get me started on Nickelback or the throng of bands the signed that sound like Nickelback, but don't have the chops or "it factor" to sell records.
For God's sake, Matt from Trivium says he wears women's jeans daily. I'm sorry to break this to you, that is not Metal. Hell, that's not even Bubblegum Pop.

...And the great bands they let fall by the wayside or lost opportunities with bands I might not even like, but Christ Almighty: 36 Crazyfists, Glassjaw, Life Of Agony, Keith Caputo, Karma To Burn, Madball, Biohazard, Sepultura...I can go on like this.

So what's next, does Ratt need a deal? I heard Vixen is still available for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and that Kip Winger is playing Double D's in Morristown, NJ next week. Better get Mr. A&R down there right quick...

Hey, maybe the Van Halen Bros can get Gary Cherone back for VH4? Roadrunner, I hear you calling...

Oh, and seriously, way to go on the new Machine Head. I'll admit it. It's fierce.

I leave you with this. Real Motherfucking Metal from Roadrunner Records from a time when they were THE label amongst labels:

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