Steven Adler is Sad

Seriously sad. Like watching Dustin Diamond sad. Two weeks ago, the "elite" of 80's Glam rock and the spandex patrol "rocked" Oklahoma. It was called Rocklahoma. The people that named this thing obviously have Yale degrees. It took place over three, what I'm sure were, agonizing days in the hot Midwestern sun, boiling away at their mullets and cutoff jean shorts that show the bottoms of the white pockets hanging through from the inside.

And those are just the dudes.

Anyway, Steven Adler's band, Adler's Appetite, performed what I'm sure was a truly horrible show. Sometime after their set, Steven was apparently supposed to play a cover of The Beatles' "Revolution" with a bunch of other has-beens. They were going to do this Supergroup of Awesomeness between sets of other bands. Unfortunately for Mr. Adler, he was on stage ready to perform, when roadies started coming out and breaking down the set for the next band. He then asked into the mic (in front of 35,000 fans) what was going on, to which they replied that their mini-performance was cut due to time restrictions. He'd have to desecrate The Beatles elshwhere.

Flashback of Steven Adler's career:

1987- drummer for GNR, making buttloads of cash
1989- discovers crack
1990- takes him one thousand takes to complete drum tracks for "Civil War". Gets booted from GNR. He also attacked Axl's girlfriend at the time. Don't fuck with Axl. He's just as nuts.

Then for a while, nothing happens.

Late 90's- Adler suffers a crack-cocaine induced stroke.
Present- Goofball

So Steve Adler is sad. His little band tours on the name and he makes ridiculous money by shoving the name down promoter's throats and has had more band members come and go in a few years time than any other band I can think of.

Then just last week, he invites all the other original members of GNR out to play some old tunes at an LA party to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of the release of "Appetite For Destruction". Surprisingly, Duff, Slash, Izzy and even Izzy replacement Gilby Clarke, show up to jam. Unfortunately for Steven, Slash bolted a few minutes later.

Oh how I miss thee, real Guns N' Fuckin' Roses...

The Horribleness of Velvet Revolver

Many will argue the definition of a Supergroup. What it takes to secure that title. What it takes to keep it. The Traveling Wilburys, Audioslave, Temple of The Dog and to a lesser extent, bands like Down, Tomahawk, and the yet-to-be-released or officially recorded VergeIn (get it, virgin) featuring all members of Converge and Cave In. Who told Velvet Revolver they were invited to the party?

For arguments' sake, Axl's "new" GNR is way more super. Buckethead, Brain, Dave Abruzzesse, Tommy Stinson, Bumblefoot...The revolving (no pun intended) cast of characters goes on like this. Suck? Sure, but these are top players.

For VR, we get Weiland (why wont he just keel over and die), Slash (talented? Yes. Characature of former self? Yes), Duff (please put a shirt on, remove cowboy hat instead), Matt Scrotum (yes, Scrotum) and Dave Kushner, some handlebar-mustachioed dork who is trying so hard to be cool. He might be the only credible member because I know jack shit about him.

Their new steaming pile of a sophomore LP will soon be upon us, Libertad. Oh look, they learned a word that isn't English!

Bottom line, coming from bands such as STP and GNR, it should at least be decent. Put the s/t Audioslave LP and the debut VR LP up against each other. It's like compairing the relevance of Bach or Beethoven to members of NKOTB.

For proof of how bad they are, check out their new pile of feces: