John Frusciante Gets a Boner

I remember being 11 or 12 years old and paying $20 to get me a VHS copy of "Funky Monks", the documentary behind Blood Sugar Sex Magik by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It was awesome to see Chad Smith lay it down (with the greatest drum sound EVER), then switch it up and play somber tunes on the piano. He also left the mansion they recorded in every night to escape the man-grabbing that was going on daily between Flea, Anthony and John. We also got to see how truly terrible Anthony was (and still is, to some extent) as a vocalist, Flea and Chad playing tire irons during "Breaking The Girl" and one of the weirdest things I've ever heard someone say.

During a personal interview with John in his makeshift bedroom, he describes what it's like to get caught up in a good riff, jamming with the band. He says he gets a boner because the jams are so awesome, making him do his thing (hopefully in private...more likely in Anthony). You could easily see from these clips and interviews that this was the start of John's heroin addiction, which later left him Pepperless and replaced by 147 guitarists, including stints by Arik Marshall and Dave "I'm a walking douche bag" Navarro.

With the Peppers on hiatus while Anthony impregnated a 19 year old girl, Chad rocks with many a motherfucker (Glenn Hughes, Sammy Hagar's Chickenfoot, solo projects) and Flea shows up on the new Keith Caputo disc), John is ready to unleash "The Empyrean" thru The Record Collection tomorrow. This is the first solo disc of his since releasing 6 LP'sin 6 months back in 2006. I'd expect more of the same, which for fans of JF is always welcome. Haunting melodies, amazingly simple structures and surprisingly beautiful vocals and lyrics.

For fans of his older work, all of this will inevitably fall short of "Your Pussy's Glued To A Building On Fire" or "Life's A Bath", bt in reality, those are fucking terrible records made by a drugged out lunatic. I'm very happy with sober John. Keep the boners coming, my friend.

"Going Inside" Live, 2000ish:
"Carvel": All Tomorrow's Parties, 2005:

Keith Caputo is a Pimp

Seriously. I once saw him at a Life of Agony concert workin' it to two 6" plus model-types, while he stands an exaggerated 5 feet tall...And I might be pushing that. Keith owns the rights to the most criminally underrated record of all time, 2000's non-North American release Died Laughing, a perfect pop record with dark melodies and beautifully haunting lyrics. Oh yeah, his acoustic/b-sides/stripped down release Died Laughing Pure was also not available in the states or Canada. But seriously, what the fuck do we know over here. We put bands like Linkin Park and Maroon 5 on a pedestal, while they ruin my ears and give pop music a bad name. You want good pop? Listen to Weezer.

Back to Keith Caputo. He's a freak of nature and a super-talented musician/songwriter/frontman, having made a name for himself with the genre-defining Life of Agony (and still is), the experimental and hard-to-find Freax, various guest appearances (Roadrunner United, Within Temptation) and his solo career. I've had the luck to see LOA with and without Keith (with Whit Crane on vocals, which was actually incredible, as Keith was struggling with some demons at the time), as well as some solo shows in NY and NJ in 2002.

Keith has also self-released the low budget Perfect Little Monsters album, as well as a live record from that tour in Europe, where Keith is celebrated and tours constantly. His third proper solo record was released two years ago. Hearts Blood On Your Dawn is an incredible statement and a fantastic progression for Keith. While on Died Laughing, he strayed away from the heavier stuff, he balanced all his styles here flawlessly.

March of this year, Keith will release his fourth solo outing (with guest a guest spot by Flea on trumpet, plus many others), which promises to break hearts and stick to brains, as all great songs he writes do. Here's to hoping for a Keith solo US tour, even though I have a better chance of becoming President.

If you can listen to "Home" or "Brandy Duval" without feeling the heartache or "I Got Monsters" without feeling how tortured this guy is, you're probably a douche bag.

Squirrels Smoking Crack

Gibby Haynes should be dead. I don't mean just regular dead...Super dead. Almost to the level of Scott Weiland should be dead or Phil Anselmo should be dead. In the late 90's when Weiland was trying to prove his sobrity, Gibby mentioned during an interview (I believe it was with SPIN) that just last week, he and Scotty had been smoking crack together in some abandoned house in LA. If you're gonna be a crackhead, say it loud and proud.

I've been a Butthole Surfers fan since 1993's Independent Worm Saloon. I was probably a bit too young to enjoy their previous efforts and to this day, can't relate to those albums. I know there's probably some gems in there, but I don't have the patience to search. "Who Was In My Room Last Night?" was probably the most fucked up song I'd ever heard on radio. Probably still is to this day. Nearly a minute of "I'm flying" and then buzzing distorted badassness ensues. Hell, even Flea was the bartender in the heavily played video on Headbanger's Ball. I also thingk this record showed that they could actually write great songs...even a few ballad-type tunes. I've seriously been singing "The Wooden Song" in my head for over 14 years.

With 1996's Electriclarryland, the guys gained huge sales and even some critical acclaim (and I think a Grammy nod), mostly due to their huge megahit, "Pepper", which is still a staple of rock radio. Kind of a timeless tune.

They fell out of the spotlight for a few years but came back strong in 2001 with Weird Revolution. Not a great record, but there are some killer tracks on this one, with the standout first single, "The Shame of Life". Any song that mentions squirrels smoking crack is alright by me.

Check out the Mission Impossible 2 Soundtrack for one of their best tunes, "They Came In" and the Music For Our Mother Ocean (MOM) Comp Vol.2 for their spot-on cover of "Summer In The City". For a good read, check out their chapter (and the rest of the book) in "This Band Could Be Your Life". Just great stories of life on the road for many young DIY bands in the 70's and 80's.

The Butthole Surfers have always just been the Butthole Surfers. If you didn't like it then, it'll still sound like shit now.

"Goofy's Concern" (live and awesome)

"Who Was In My Room Last Night?