Where Do I Sign?

I've been on a big Galactic Cowboys kick lately. If you're not familiar with these Texan/Missourian (?) dudes then spend some time digging into their amazing catalog, which spans a decade, releasing albums both on Geffen Records and Metal Blade. Six LP's and one awesome EP complete the GC catalog. Get all of it. It's either on clearance or out of print but easy to find for a few bucks a piece.

Think King's X, with 4-part harmonies instead of three. Think Dream Theater without all the wanking. Think Beatles-meets-Metallica with more than a hint of sarcasm and a sense of humor. Think awesome.

Their catalog (and sometimes fan base) is split into two factions: Before the hiatus (Geffen) and after (Metal Blade). Danie Cnoier or Wally Farkas. Fuck the haters. I love it all. Space In Your Face and The Horse That Bud Bought are my favorites but they're all amazing records. Name a few bands that never wrote a bad song. It's harder than you think. Sure, there has been some filler/intro/avant garde cuts, but I still find them enjoyable. Sometimes.

The band unfortunately called it quits in 2000 after their swan song Let It Go (featuring Jerry Gaskill from King's X on drums). Bassist/vocalist Monty Colvin went on to start Crunchy, a pop-punk-metal project. Vocalist/guitarist Ben Higgins started Gristle with some Texan dudes and his son. Former drummer Alan Doss still produces records (Jambi's Revenge, etc) and still plays. Dane Connier started The Connier Brothers Band, with guess who else? Wally Farkas started Molken Music, an independent label only releasing music from his friends, which include Dug Pinnick, Ty Tabor ("Balance" is his finest record to date, by the way), King's X DVD's and unreleased and live music and this year, his first solo LP, "Past Due".

I love this band. I always come back to them and get on a huge GC kick for a few weeks. Fucking awesome band.

"Fear Not" (from 1996's Machine Fish LP):

"Nothing To Say" (from 1998's At The End of the Day):

Fancy Caravan

If Metallica is Led Zeppelin, then Pantera definitely is Black Sabbath. In fact, this weeks' fanciness comes courtesy of Pantera covering Black Sabbath. I really had my pick this week. I counld've gone with their ball-smashing rendition of "Hole In The Sky" or their Whiskey-soaked version of "Electric Funeral". I chose to stay as fancy as possible and honor "Planet Caravan", one of my favorite Sabbath songs, covered by one of my favorite metal bands.

The thing about Black Sabbath and Pantera that always pulled me in, was that beyond all the obvious heaviness and METAL, their softer side was eons darker and more tortured. Sure, "Iron Man" is heavy, but "Changes" pulls out your goddamn heart and crushes it with a baseball bat. God, I love that song. Pantera ran the same course. "Mouth For War" is pissed off and can make you pick up cars and throw them at old ladies, but "Floods" will literally make you feel like the walls are closing in around you.

Every time I saw Pantera (other than one Ozzfest slot in 2000), they played "Planet Caravan". The four dudes would set up shop in the middle of the stage with bongos and pot, fly swirly pot leaves out over the lights and turn the entire arena green (in color and smell). Even if you don't smoke the weed, you somehow got high as a motherfucker. Good music will do that...

"Planet Caravan":

My Lifestyle Determines My Shopping Style

I couldn't resist. Looks at this guy. Just look at him. My wife thinks James Hetfield looks just like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons, but even that lovable 80's sitcom/b-rate movie sensation (sorry, Alf rules your ass buddy) wouldn't be caught dead shopping at Armani. What have you done to Rob Trujillo?!

It's bad enough that James says "baby" after every single line, now he's wearing golfing shorts and flip flops. Dude, just put on the Crocs and let the good times roll.

Sad indeed.

Testicular Tuesday!

So while every other blog on the face of this ill-fated planet is debating whether the two new officially leaked Metallica tracks are any good (they are kinda, sorta, maybe, who cares?), I got inspired by the fine fellows at MetalSucks.net to listen to some Chimaira and get me out of the current funk I'm in (thanks Chris Cornell, you sack fondler). There's a tangent I'll go off on tomorrow.

Chimaira is fucking awesome. Every record is better and better and they never forsake the hook and the riff, even managing to keep things together and ridiculously un-boring during 9+ minute songs. I'm partial to their 2005 self-titled release, but they proved their worth with last year's Resurrection, mostly by simultaneously telling Roadrunner to suck it, while signing on with indie powerhouse Ferret.

Chimaira is so good, they could tell you about hugging kittens and still make it sound brutal as fuck.

"Resurrection":
"Nothing Remains":