Testicular Tuesday: Sunday School Edition

Why is it that us Jews love the Christian Metal and Hardcore? Is it that they're screaming their gospel at us? Is it that Jesus IS really awesome? I tend to think that it's the pent up sexual frustration they hold inside. No pre-marital sex, no drugs, no sex, no temple, no sex...I get it. The question is, why aren't they angrier?

Today we focus on Demon Hunter. I love this band. They balance singing and screaming in a similar fashion that Killswitch Engage does, but very different at the same time. For one, they're not as good...Sorry. Secondly, they rarely tour and have this silent mystique about them. I mean, these dudes toured for 45 days this past year and felt the need to document it with a 2DVD/CD package called...45 Days. Awesome, yes. Smart, maybe.

I know for a fact that the band and I have VERY different views on religion, politics, etc...But we agree on the fact that they fucking kill it and to prove this, you will now watch this great video from their best song. Also, Brock from 36 Crazyfists sings on their 2004 LP "Summer of Darkness". That dude rules. Seems trustworthy, I dunno.

Check this. Happy Tuesday!

"Not Ready To Die":

Top 20 of 2008

The year 2008 gave us some really great music. No, really. There were great records by great bands and a good number of newer bands that put out extremely good LP's. 36 Crazyfists killed it this year with a flawless album, while Zozobra and Cult of Luna had a serious go at it for the #1 spot. Buy these records. All of them. Now.There's a lot of great stuff in here. Check it out!

TOP 20 of 2008:

1. 36 Crazyfists- The Tide and its Takers (Ferret)
2. Zozobra- Birds of Prey (Hydra Head)
3. Cult of Luna- Eternal Kingdom (Earache)
4. In Flames- A Sense of Purpose (Koch)
5. Amon Amarth- Twilight of the Thunder God (Metal Blade)
6. Meshuggah- obZen (Nuclear Blast)
7. Opeth- Watershed (Roadrunner)
8. Intronaut- Prehistoricisms (Century Media)
9. Clouds- We Are Above You (Hydra Head)
10. King's X- IV (Inside Out)
11. Gojira- The Way of All Flesh (Prosthetic)
12. Jeff Ament- Tone (Monkeywrench)
13. Totimoshi- Milagrosa (Volcom)
14. Young Widows- Old Wounds (Temporary Residence)
15. Protest The Hero- Fortress (Vagrant)
16. Dub Trio- Another Sound Is Dying (Ipecac)
17. Burning Brides- Anhedonia (self-released)
18. Metallica- Death Magnetic (Warner Bros.)
19. Candiria- Kiss The Lie (unmastered) (Type A)
20. Torche- Meanderthal (Hydra Head)

Best EP's:

1. The Company Band- Sign Here, Here and Here (self-released)
2. Jesu- Why Are We Not Perfect? (Hydra Head)
3. Incisor- Trendshitter (Saw Her Ghost)
4. Swallow The Sun- Plague of Butterflies (Spinefarm)
5. Red Sparrowes- Aphorisms (self-released)

Best Live LP:

Matthew Good- Live at Massey Hall (UMusic Canada)

Other Great 2008 Releases:

Testament- The Formation of Damnation (Nuclear Blast)
Mouth of The Architect- Quietly (Translation Loss)
Burst- Lazarus Bird (Relapse)
Shawn Smith- The Diamond Hand (Sound vs. Silence)
Trap Them- Seizures In Barren Praise (Deathwish)
Rotten Sound- Cycles (Spinefarm)
Pro-Pain- No End In Sight (Regain)
Saviours- Into Abaddon (Kemado)
Sevendust- Chapter VII: Hope & Sorrow (7Bros/Asylum)
Ours- Mercy...Dancing With Death of an Imaginary Enemy (American)
Warship- Supply and Depend (Vagrant)
Candlebox- Into The Sun (Silent Majority)
Thrice- The Alchemy Index Vol. 3 & 4 (Vagrant)
Cavalera Conspiracy- Inflikted (Roadrunner)
Mudcrutch- Mudcrutch (Warner Bros)
Unearth- The March (Metal Blade)
Brant Bjork- Punk Rock Guilt (Low Desert Punk)
The Sword- Gods of the Earth (Kemado)
Scars on Broadway- Scars on Broadway (Interscope)
Kingdom of Sorrow- Kingdom of Sorrow (Relapse)
Dead To Fall- Are You Serious? (Victory)
The Melvins- Nude With Boots (Ipecac)
The Famine- The Raven and The Reaping (Solid State)
From The North- From The North (Wammybox)
Liam Finn- I'll Be Lightning (Yep Roc)
Ligeia- Bad News (Ferret)
The Bronx- III (White Drugs)
Trivium- Shogun (Roadrunner)

Best Shows of 2008:

Pearl Jam- Hartford, CT
Crudo- San Francisco
Clouds- Berkeley, CA
36 Crazyfists/In Flames/Gojira/All The Remains- San Francisco
Eddie Vedder/Liam Finn- Santa Cruz, CA

Looking Forward To These In 2009...

Pearl Jam, Cave In, Converge, Zao, Earth Crisis, Lamb of God, Wino, ISIS, Mastodon, Dredg, Glassjaw, Deftones, Burnt By The Sun, Coalesce, Killswitch Engage, Poison The Well, Stuck Mojo, Chimaira, Katatonia, Clutch, Helmet, Crudo, Mondo Cane, Dream Theater, Anthrax and Sepultura.

So there it is. 2009 has some serious promise. Of course, Chris Cornell plans to unleash his abomination Scream on the world in February, so who knows.

Alaskan Testicular Tuesday!

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a borderline-obsessive love for all things from Alaska, including beardrock, moose and 36 Crazyfists. The latter is one of the only bands that I can think of that I never tire of, ever (consisting only of bands that started post 1990's...and not including the band as they were before moving to Portland and signing with Roadrunner). Four amazing records. Four grizzly, nice dudes. Songs that make me feel like the Maxell guy whilist listening. "A Snow Capped Romance" is probably my favorite LP by them (today), but I'm choosing to show love to their new opus, "The Tide and It's Takers", a beastly motherfucker of an album. As it currently stands, my #1 Album of the Year candidate at this point (tied with Cult of Luna's "Eternal Kingdom". Yes, this will be a tough one people...).

Kudos to Ferret for rescuing these guys and making them the focus of their label. All it takes is proper promotion and full US tours and this band will be a fixture. They've already dominated the UK and all of mainland Europe...It's time the US gets it head out of its ass and recognizes 36 Crazyfists!

Buy this record and all their others. Grow a beard and let the good times roll!

"We Gave It Hell":

Testicular Tuesday!

If Birmingham, AL is metal, then Disturbed really are the heaviest band on earth or whatever bullshit they say they are. Truth is, Birmingham gave us Haste in the late 90's (not to be confused with the horrid Haste The Day on Solid State Records). They were a six-dude band with two vocalists, a high screamer/singer and a gutteral growler. The music was upbeat, dark, dirty, pop, rock, hardcore,post-hardcore, punk, etc...And it was definitely metal. These guys toured forever on their three full-lengths and even got some decent rotation on Headbanger's Ball in 2003 for "Stutter", a fast-paced melodic cut off their swan song, The Mercury Lift. The coolest thing about this band was their ability to remain who they were on Century Media, a label more widely known for their death metal and European epic junk. It was basically all that, Stuck Mojo and Haste.

Unfortunately, the guys broke up in 2004. A great band that grew by leaps and bounds with each release. Think Snapcase meets Grade meets Cast Iron Hike meets 36 Crazyfists meets Quicksand meets the Smashing Pumpkins in a deathmatch. Good stuff, I promise you that.

Recognize this:

RECORD STORE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

For you assholes that have forsaken the brick & mortar record shop, today is a day to leave the douche bag you now call home and re-emerge a fantastic and important member of society. Today is Record Store Day at over 450 indie record shops around the country, as well as many more around the globe. Do yourself a favor and go support your local shop(s) today and drop some cash. Keep in mid that this isn't like giving a drinking binge/beer goggles/bad one night stand date cab fare in the morning...This is supporting a local business and reminding yourself (if you forgot) how amazingly awesome record stores are.

Go find that rare import single with that b-side that made you love the hunt for rare records in the first place. Plus, our good friends over at Ferret are releasing a brand new 36 Crazyfists EP today, The Occolus. Three tracks (two off thir 5/27 release The Tide and It's Takers and a b-side cover of Satchel's "Criminal Justice"). It fucking kills. Hand over your $3 now.

Record stores (even shitty ones like Scotti's in NJ) need lovin' too. I'm off to Amoeba SF to spend $$$ I don't have and to leave with dirty hands, bloody cuticles, and a wad of new records to rock the fuck out to.

Woke up with this in my head. Actually, this happens most days. My favorite song of all time. Ever. Since I was twelve. Faith No More rules.